Keeping your cool when your child loses theirs!

In this episode, we’re talking all about keeping your cool when your child loses theirs - much easier said than done!

We explore why staying calm in the middle of a meltdown can feel so difficult, especially when the little things have been building up, you’re already feeling stressed, or the day you had planned simply isn’t going the way you hoped.

Becks shares honestly about how her mum never kept her cool (and how Becks hasn’t always kept hers either!) We talk about the fact that no parent can stay calm 100% of the time. It’s just not possible. Sometimes people may look like they’re coping from the outside, but we never really know what is going on underneath.

We also discuss how hard it can feel when everyone seems to have an opinion, especially when your child is having a difficult moment in public, or when social media makes it look as though everyone else has it all together - calm parents, calm children, and no meltdowns in sight.

Claire talks about the importance of having a toolkit of things to try when emotions are running high, including simple strategies you can use yourself and with your children. These are the kinds of ideas you can pin on the fridge or save on your phone, so they’re easy to reach for when you need them most.

We look at how you can try to bring your child’s chaos down with your calm, rather than matching their chaos with your own and escalating things further. We also talk about recognising your own triggers, trying to understand your child’s triggers, and how different situations, including Claire’s experiences with her mum’s dementia, can bring up big feelings in us too.

There’s also an honest conversation about what happens afterwards: the guilt, the beating yourself up, and the importance of repair. Losing your cool doesn’t mean you’ve failed, but coming back together afterwards really matters.

Finally, we talk about accepting help when it’s offered. So many of us find this hard, but it really does take a village to raise a child. And if you’re the friend offering help, sometimes just doing something practical can make all the difference.

We hope this episode gives you some reassurance, some practical ideas, and a reminder that you are not alone in finding these moments hard.

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